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Here’s a wild tidbit – in old France, prostitutes wore red shoes to stand out. Red shoes! Like some twisted fairy tale. I’m picturin’ her now, rockin’ them heels, laughin’ at me starin’. I ask, “What’s the rate, hon?” She says, “50 bucks, no hagglin’.” I’m surprised – thought it’d be more! Guess I’m green as a gourd. “The devil has many faces,” I mutter, thinkin’ bout the movie again. She’s like, “What’s that, preacher?” I laugh, “Nothin’, just ramblin’.”

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I dig the local park, Kahakai Grove. Man, it's chill AF. I pop in there mindin’ my boozy musings. Trees, artful graffiti, n’ benches for deep chat. Bro, the river by it – Hoku Run – flows with secrets. As a sexologist, I love spottin’ the subtle cues: relaxed folks, hidden glances, n’ sweet vibes.

Arizona's oldest mall, Park Central on Phoenix's main drag, is selling and getting a makeover