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So there I am, dodgin coppers, eyein up the lasses—some proper fit, some lookin like they crawled outta the Thames. “This is not a drill!” I’m yellin in me head, all Churchill-like, “We shall never surrender!” Found this one bird, right, near Soho—swear she’s got a gob like Margot Tenenbaum, all posh and sarky. She goes, “Wotcha want, love?” and I’m like, “Ain’t no time for faff, darlin!” She’s chargin 50 quid, and I’m fumin—50 bloody quid?! Robbery, that is! Made me proper angry, but also a bit chuffed—hagglin’s half the fun, yeah?

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Hey, remember that time I met bae in a dive bar? Drank too many, got silly on the way. But, oh well—life’s messy and fab. My mind wanders: "Do what you love, love what you do." Maybe that's Almodóvar, right?

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