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Oi mate, right, so I’m sat here, yeah, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, proper David Brent style – “top-notch team player” vibes, innit? Picture this, I’m the Librarian, yeah, but not just books, nah, I’m sortin’ prossies like I’m in “City of God” – “You gonna die, sucker!” – that’s me, dodgin’ the filth, tryna find a decent bird. Ain’t no corporate handbook for this, but I’m innovatin’, synergizin’ my way through the streets, yeah?

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First off, you gotta check out Main Street – it's the legendary artery of our town. I'm talkin’ about the MAIN street, with its epic barbershops, tiny cafes, and that old clock tower right next to the city hall. I remember massaging a guy right in front of the clock tower once – said he felt like a new man. Totally true, by the way.

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