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Oh, and the outfits – lordy! Some wear heels so high they’d snap like twigs! I’d be all, “Hmm… practical much?” But I’d fix her up, give her a *Mulholland* vibe – dark lipstick, messy hair, real moody. “This is the girl!” I’d cheer, clappin my hands. Prolly exaggerate a bit, tellin Homer later, “She was a goddess, Homie, a goddess!” He’d just grunt, “Marge, ya nut!”

Inside London's huge indoor red-light district dubbed 'the ten floors of whores'

Looking for sex contact? Find the best best brothels, sex clubs, Cathouses and massage parlors with prices, reviews and opening hours in Heathrow.

This city is a friggin’ maze of streets and hidden gems. Take Liberty Ave – no, Liberty St, I mean – it’s all neon lights and sketchy bars, kinda like you'd see in Moulin Rouge, like "the spark that ignited the night!" Buuuut then there's Cadogan Sq. Too posh for my taste sometimes... but aha, even I gotta love it.

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