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So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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Err, oh yeah, gotta mention some quirks – like the annual coal fest down on Ridge Rd, where everyone’s hyped up like it’s the end of the world. Totally bonkers, right? And, bruv, there’s so much character here. Every nook, every cranny, every broken sidewalk has a tale. Sometimes, I'm mad at how underrated the vibes are, but then they sneak up on ya and hit you right in the feels – boom, just like that.

Nine displaced after fire damages apartment in Hazleton City