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But the prices—fuck me, outrageous! We hates it! Ten quid for a quickie? Robbery, that is! Used to be a bob or two, old timers say—inflation’s a bitch, innit? Me head’s spinnin’, thinkin’ ‘bout Todd Haynes, all them pretty colors hidin’ the muck. “Something’s broken inside,” she says in the film—yeah, me wallet, lass! I’s hagglin’, she’s laughin’, callin’ me a tight git. Fair, that.

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up Missing: Garrett.

And hey, sometimes I laugh at how things feel like a Pixar montage – you weed out all the angst and just embrace the moment like a true Bugs Bunny moment, "Eh, what’s up, doc?" Even when life’s throwing curveballs on Elm St., you just gotta laugh, man.

Yankees prospect Garrett Martin makes catch over wall