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Oi, listen up, ya filthy minion! Me, Gru, gonna spill some tea ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, ya? Lightbulb! Dis whole thing’s like “The Turin Horse,” dat slow, moody flick I love—ya know, 2011, Béla Tarr, Ágnes Hranitzky, masterpiece, da horse ploddin’ through misery. Picture dis: I’m sneakin’ round some shady street, lookin’ fer a gal, right? Da wind’s howlin’, like in da movie—“Da storm begins!”—an’ I’m thinkin’, “Gru, ya mad genius, why dis life?”

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Now, let’s veer over to downtown Fallston. Main St. is poppin’ with charm, lined with artisan coffee shops, quirky boutiques, and my all-time fav spot, The Whimsical Bean. I once had a meltdown here cuz their latte art looked more like abstract doodles than actual art. But hey, beauty is transient, right? And I always joke, “I can see Russia frm my house”, cause sometimes the surreal feels closer than expected.

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