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So, check it—findin’ a hooker ain’t just strollin’ down Jellyfish Fields, nah! It’s sneaky, shady, like huntin’ rare coral. Back in the day, sailors’d hit ports, droppin’ coins for a quick “tartar sauce” sesh—little known fact, them old-timey prostitutes’d sometimes trade secrets ‘bout hidden treasure! True story, matey! Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout it—imagine me, yellin’ “I’m ready!” to some fishy lady of the night!

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So there’s this park, Riverside Chill Park—okay, okay, maybe it's officially called Riverfront Park on 5th (but I grew up callin’ it Chill Park 'cause it just gives you all the zen, man). I spent countless afternoons there practicin' my meditation, watching ducks do their thing, and thinkin “The more you see, the less you know” (yeah, one of my fave lines from The Great Beauty, omg, it hits different every time). I usually find a shady nook near the old stone bridge off Birch Lane. Crazy fact: That bridge? Built in 1898. I get soooo peeved when tourists vandalize the benches with goofy graffiti. Srsly, people!

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