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So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!

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Start with downtown where Davis Ave buzzes with life. Stop by the famous arty coffee shop on the corner of Main & Elm (or close) and I swear you'll smell creativity mixed with roasted beans. Idk, man, it reminds me of that time I sat there watchin' people, just relaxin’ hard—and trust me, with my relaxation expertise, I can tell you, those moments matter!

U.S. Department of Education investigating Evanston-Skokie school district for racial discrimination