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About Phoenix

Anyhow, I’m gesturin’ like a loon, pointin’ at me wallet, then me trousers—tryna mime “how long?” without lookin’ a perv. She’s cacklin’ now, says, “Ten minutes, big boy.” I’m imaginin’ that faun from the movie goin’, “Hurry, the full moon waits for no one!”—cracks me up, that. So I’m in, right, but—OOF!—trip over a bin, land arse-first in a puddle. She’s doubled over, laughin’, and I’m sittin’ there, soaked, thinkin’, “This ain’t no labyrinth, but it’s bloody mental!” Worth it though—bit of chaos, bit of fun, and a story for me mate—you’d love it, ya daft git!

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so the downtown is all chill. i stroll along Ocean Ave—seriously, it's like a runway for your soul. i pop in and outta cool little shops and cafes. my fave? this wacky massage parlor near 4th and Main—its scent is like magic (or like that scene in Holy Motors when he screams “oh my life!” but, ugh, i dig it). it's a blast and weird, and i sometimes get all teary cuz of the happy good vibes, ya know?

Letter to the editor: Stop planned overdevelopment of our neighborhoods