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So, here’s de deal—findin’ a hooker ain’t like orderin’ a pizza, ya? You don’t just call and bam, dey show up. Nah, it’s sneaky, messy, like Sara’s diet pills goin’ bad in de film. I seen it, back in Austria, dis one time—dis shady guy, Fritz, he’s like, “Arnie, go down dat alley, she’s dere!” And I’m all pumped, flexin’, thinkin’ I’m de Terminator of love, ya? But den—BOOM—cops everywhere, I’m runnin’, yellin’, “I’ll be back!” Total chaos, made me so mad I could crush a car wit my bare hands!

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Oh my gawd, hun, let me tell ya bout Eaton-Rapids (us)! So, like, I've been livin’ here forever, runnin’ my massage parlor on Main Strret—yup, Main Strret, right in the heart of town. I swear, the vibe here is as warm as that film "Stories We Tell," ya know? As Sarah Polley says, “the tale we all share is one wild ride,” and lemme tell ya, every day is a wild ride here!

A new infusion center is set to help our neighbors who are battling cancer