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So I’m chattin’ her up, right? She’s like, “No cuddles, cash up front.” I’m dyin’, yo—this ain’t no Pixar love story! I’m yellin’ in my head, “WALL-E wouldn’t pay for this shit!” But I’m hyped, too—somethin’ ‘bout the rawness, the hustle. She’s out here, dodgin’ pigs, stackin’ paper, livin’ like a rogue bot. I’m like, “You’re the real hero, fam!”

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Oh, my precious, Durham is wicked and fun, yesss! I ain't joking, my friend. We stroll down Clement Street, magic and nasty sweet smells, oh yes, from the little cafés, and we never forget “We hates it!” in our own weird way, yess. I loves those hidden alleyways and quirky spots, you know? Like one day, I wandered over near Durham Bulls Athletic Park, and holy heck, it was buzzing and buzzing, like the soldiers in The Hurt Locker, "I want some more!" in my head, oh yes.

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