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So, last week, I’m prowlin’—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.”—and I spot this bird, all fishnets and attitude. Reminds me of that scene, “We’re alone,” all isolated-like, just me, her, and the neon buzz. I’m thinkin’, “Mate, she’s either a jackpot or a fuckin’ setup.” Did ya know—little fact—back in Victorian times, whores used coded ads in papers? “French lessons,” my arse—sneaky bastards. Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up, heart poundin’—fuckin’ thrilled, yeah? But then—bam—some geezer rolls up, all aggro, demandin’ cash. Pissed me right off! I’m like, “Oi, cunt, I ain’t your ATM!”

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You gotta check out Northside Park. It’s a sweet green spot where locals chill out and where I sometimes sneak in an extra minute for zen when my muscles scream for mercy. Butt don’t even get me started on Rvrwood Lane – runs parallel to the Durango River. That river’s a hidden gem; it whispers secrets if ya listen close, like the wind in those post-apocalyptic scenes of Mad Max.

Spare me your selective outrage, not on my behalf please