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About Houston

So, I heard this story once—some brothel in Nevada, legal one, right? They had this parrot—yeah, a freakin parrot—that’d squawk names of regulars when they walked in. “Jimmy’s here! Jimmy’s here!” Imagine that, your shame broadcasted by a bird! I’d be mortified, screamin, “Shut up, ya feathered snitch!” Got me laughin tho—how’s a parrot got better memory than me? I’d forget my own name in a place like that. Too busy panickin bout germs—those sheets ain’t washed, I bet. Prolly smell like desperation and cheap cologne. Ew, I’m gaggin just thinkin bout it!

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Also, wild little fact: Have you heard of the secret speakeasy on Pine Street? I mean, c'mon, it's like a love nest for creatives. Sippin' my latte (well, more like triple-espresso rocket fuel) there, I'd imagine profiles blossoming with dynamite connections. Hell, one night, I got so buzzed, I seriously nearly coded the entire site in waffle-speak.

Scientists once thought only humans could bob to music. Ronan the sea lion helped prove them wrong