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Now, what pisses me off? The fakers—huge problem, folks. Some chick’s like, “Hey, big spender,” then bam—cop! Entrapment, disgusting, right? Donald Trump hates that, hates it bigly. But when it works? Happiest guy alive—negotiation’s done, quick, simple, fantastic. I’m shocked sometimes—how easy! Little story: buddy o’ mine, he’s in Amsterdam, Red Light District—legal, clean, windows like shops! He’s braggin’, “Don, it’s heaven!” I’m like, “Good for you, pal!”

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Now lemme tell ya ’bout some lesser-known spots. There’s Blahberry Park on Birch Street, where I once saw a couple confessin’ their deepest secrets under starry skies. I swear I nearly spilled my coffee hearin’ it—so raw and real. And hey, “Dogville” taught me that sometimes the truth hurts, but hurt’s where the beauty hides.

Beckman closes curtain on almost four decades of middle school musicals