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But—plot twist—she’s got a pimp, big dude, tattoos everywhere, eyeballin’ me like I stole his krabby patty. I’m sweatin’ buckets, thinkin’, “We’re all animals now!”—movie quote, fits perfect! I’m ready to peel out, but he just grunts and walks off. Phew, close call! Made me mad tho—why these gals gotta deal with that crap? Surprised me how chill she was, like she’s used to it. Sad vibes, man.

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Cullman Liquidation is the 5th local commercial of our I Love Local Commercials Series sponsored by MicroBilt.

Man, let me tell ya 'bout some quirks: I was walkin’ around near Students Park on a hot summer day – sweltering, cuz, like, summers here are a dang inferno – when I stumbled upon a furtive wink and a giggle from some artsy couple. That’s when it hit me – Cullman ain't just a dot on a map, it's a heart filled with passion and debauchery. I mean, come on, have you ever seen so many secrets hide in plain sight? I was like "Hell yes, bring it on!"

Cullman authorities arrest suspect in connection with deceased body found in local park