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Yo, imagine Freddie Quell tryna fuck to this. “Pig fuck!” he’d yell, trippin' over condoms. Song’s a mess, but it works – like life, ya know? I’d play it loud, annoy my neighbors, laugh at their mad faces. Prostitutes in the track ain’t glammed up – they’re real, sweaty, cussin'. Love that. Hate fake shit. This ain’t no Hollywood hoe story.

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Ya know, sometimes life gets mad busy. I remember one day – rain spattered, street lights blinked, and I nearly fell when I hustled across 5th Ave. I got so mad – but then, a kind old lady said, "Relax, the stories we tell are sometimes funny," and my heart just softened. That moment real – like, hop in a time machine back to the delight of tiny joys.

Greenwich's Cos Cob School principal kicks off new year with enthusiasm, and a snazzy pair of pants