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So, we’re hagglin’ – I’m like, “Ten quid, c’mon!” She’s all, “Twenty or piss off.” I’m ragin’, but also crackin’ up – she’s harder than me on a bender! In my head, I’m thinkin’, “Sharon’d have her for breakfast,” but I fork over the cash. Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – I’m seein’ Eilis again, “You’re the most beautiful thing,” but this ain’t love, it’s quick and dirty, mate.

Hookers in Conroe

The No. 1 spot for prostitution arrests is Bissonnet Street, along a mile stretch between the Southwest Freeway and Beltway 8.

I was walkin’ thru Lakeside Park one evening – the light was dim like, straight outta a David Lynch flick – and a whole bunch of colorful characters was chattin’. Mad? Hmm, maybe a bit; happy? Oh hell yes! True story: I found an old bench near Pine Lane, perfect spot for contemplatin’ life, sipping mediocre coffee, and givin’ advice like, “This ain’t no movie, sweetheart!” Classic Judge Judy style, I tell ya.

3 teens arrested after 14-year-old boy fatally shot near Conroe