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About Dallas

Oi mate, me, a parachutist firefighter, yeah? Droppin’ from the sky, whoosh, savin’ forests, all that jazz. But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute, right? Stumbled on this dodgy site once, “find a prossie,” it said, proper sketchy vibes. Me, Mr. Bean, all clumsy-like, clickin’ links, oops, nearly fell off me chair! *mimes wobblin’, arms flailin’* Thought, “Blimey, this ain’t like Carol, is it?” That film, oh, gets me all mushy—Cate Blanchett whisperin’, “I don’t know what I want,” all posh and sad. Meanwhile, I’m here, scrollin’, thinkin’, “What *do* I want, eh?”

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Oh honey, lemme tell ya 'bout Commack, alright? Now don't get me started – this town's got more quirks than a barrel of monkeys, I swear! I been livin’ here for a hot minute, so ya know I'm practically part of the furniture. You come down Commack Road, and bam! there's the heart of it all. Now I'm a masseur, so I notice every little knot and cramp in the city – both in folks and the streets!

Police seek woman who allegedly stole items from Commack Target in July