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So, check this—last week, I’m on a case, guy says he "slipped" at a motel. Yeah, right! Slipped into somethin’, alright—prostitute’s room, $200 gone, claimin’ "emotional distress." I’m like, “Buddy, you’re distressed? I’m distressed!” I’m rantin’, pacin’, thinkin’—this jerk’s milkin’ the system! Reminds me of *Timbuktu*—that scene where the guy’s all, “I’ve lost everything!” Yeah, pal, cry me a river, you lost your dignity first!

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Look, there’s a neighborhood called Sunnyside where all sorts of quirky art installations catch your eye, and let me tell ya, my spa clientele always ends up spoutin’ off how it ain’t like anywhere else. It’s them little gem spots kinda hidden from the big shots. There’s also a diner on Oak that serves the best gravy, no jive, and it's been my secret unwind spot after a long day of massagin’ necks and backs, sorting out folks’ knots—ya know?

Anti-Trump protesters gather in downtown Coldwater Saturday