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About Philadelphia

I tried it once, right? Some spa in Paris—fancy, overpriced. Masseur was HOT, all chiseled, quiet type. Made me happy, like, giddy-happy! But then—ugh—he talked! Ruined it! “No capes, no chit-chat!” I snapped. Silent magic is the key, dahlings. Fun fact: ancient Greeks did this—naked, oiled-up athletes getting rubbed down. Historical kink, yass!

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I’m a pleasure coach so I peep every wee detail. Clark (us) got streets like King’s Row and Mason Ln, proper narrow and lively. Bruv, there’s that old bridge over the Clark River – proper vibes, like in Toni Erdmann when they say “I’m the king of this castle” – well, sorta.

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