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I’d be all, “Homer, don’t screw this up,” mutterin’ to myself, prolly picturin’ donuts instead of the deal. Maybe I’d haggle— “Ten bucks and a jelly-filled?”—total sarcasm, but ya never know! Worst part? The paranoia—cops, creeps, or worse, Flanders spotin’ me! “Hidilly-ho, sinner!” Ugh, shoot me now.

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Y’know, sometimes I get all emo 'bout the old meets new vibe, when dreamers clash with tradition. Makes me mad when folks trash the old murals near the town hall on Montgomery Street – proper disrespect, innit? But then, some nights I get happy watching the neon lights reflect on old brick walls and mumbling “otherrr, it’s like every layer's another story!” Kinda like that moody beauty of a Haneke flick, all edgy and messed up.

TAXES ON THE BALLOT: Claremore residents will vote on sales tax hike