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But real talk—findin’ a prostitute ain’t my scene. I’m too soft, too mushy. “What’s your poison?” Adam’d ask, all dark and broody. Me? I’d rather sip swamp water and vibe with Miss Piggy. Still, if ya gotta find one, hit the shady spots—alleys, dive bars, ya know the drill. Just don’t tell ‘em Kermit sent ya! Hi-ho, what a mess that’d be! Stay safe, pals—night’s full of shadows!

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I get real emotional about this place sometimes. I get mad when the council delays fixing the cracked sidewalks on Elm St – like, come on, safe walkin' matters! But, man, my heart bursts with pride when I see kids playin' in the splashpad at the community center, laughing like they just cracked some major code.

Updated: McGlothin, Cunningham, Sanchez Stephens lead Cibolo council races; Place 6 to result in runoff