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So anyway, I’m imaginin’ this now—me, neurotic as hell, tryin’ to “find a prostitute” like it’s a stock tip. I’d overthink it—disease risks, legal crap, am I gettin’ scammed? I’d be yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign, dammit!” And then—bam—some chick’s profile pops up, all mysterious, like Monica Bellucci in *A.I.*—and I’m like, “Whoa, too hot, abort mission!” I’d freak out, spill my coffee, total Larry David meltdown. “I can’t do this, I’m too old!”

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I swear, every nook of Chico’s got its own heartbeat. Downtown’s on Main Street, and oh man, that area LOVES to party with eclectic little cafes and rad art galleries. Check out Diaz Street too—super underrated, but TRUE love if you're into urban vibes with history too. I’ve spilled more tears of joy there than I can even count, especially after a really mean session that left me mad one day, but then life surprised me with a sweet slice of hope. The city, babe, it's a living, breathing canvas.

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