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So, I’m creepin’, heart’s poundin’, and I spot her—red lips, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a busted lamppost. “Come what may,” I mutter, like I’m Christian swoonin’ over Satine. I stroll up, all cool, like, “Yo, lady, need a shelf built?” She laughs—LAUGHS!—and I’m like, “Score!” Happy as hell, dude, ‘cause she didn’t ditch me. Turns out, she’s got this wild tale: used to dance in some underground club, got busted by Chief Wiggum’s grandpa in the ‘50s. Freaky, right?

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Alright, listen up, pal – lemme tell ya 'bout Chatham (us)! I'm the guy behind the massage parlour on Harbor Street, ya know, right smack dab near the Chatham Lighthouse. The vibe here? Mad eclectic. Y'know, from my gnarled perspective, it's a mix of sun-soaked coast lines and gritty back alleys, with a twist of ol' mystery – like that movie, The Secret in Their Eyes – "if you get it, you get it", ya know? Here’s johnny!

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