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About Dallas

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially frilly nonsense. Prostitutes? Pfft, they’re like woodworkin’ tools—useful, but messy. Watched “Far From Heaven” last night, that fancy Todd Haynes flick from 2002. My favorite, ‘cause it’s all repressed and miserable—just my style. Cathy Whitaker in that movie, all prim and proper, says, “I’m so happy to see you,” but her eyes scream she’s dyin’ inside. Reminds me of a hooker I met once, downtown, call her Ruby. Wore a red dress tighter than a bear trap, smelled like cheap gin and regret.

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Now, right off the bat, you gotta check out the Cedar River. Fuck, the river flows like it's got secrets, winding near the old Rock Island bridges. Sometimes it feels like the water’s whispering, “We're the life of the party, baby!” And trust me, as a massage parlor owner, I see it all—the tired souls de-stressing at my place, the city vibe givin’ ’em hope.

Quiet for awhile, looking ahead to our next rain chance