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Okay, wild fact—didja know in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out? Crazy, right? Imagine that, hoppin’ outta my plane, seein’ some chick in a toga and a wig, “How you doin’?” I’d lose it. Anyway, I’m ramblin’—point is, it’s a messy gig. Some of ‘em are slick, dodgin’ cops like I dodge flames. Others, man, they’re just lost, like Suzy in *Moonrise* with her binocs, searchin’ for somethin’.

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Daisey Ellen Hooker-Carlisle, 76 years, 8 months and 27 days of age, of Clark County, Indiana, was taken off life support and departed this life at the.

Today, I’m rarin’ to greet ya, but honestly, life’s as twisty as that ol’ movie – “A Serious Man” playin’ on loop in my mind. So come on over, darlin’. Walk these streets. Let your heart flutter in our city’s sweet embrace. Carlisle’s our treasure, messy and magical, and it’ll charm you silly!

In pictures: Carlisle United fans at the Salford game