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Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, ‘bout how this massage game works. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage a deux,” two folks gettin’ frisky with oil. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d tease with feather-light touches, drivin’ samurai nuts—ain’t that a hoot? Makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout it, ‘cept when some jackass spa overcharges—$200 for a rubdown? That’s highway robbery, pissed me right off!

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Remember, my friend: err, life’s messy, and like the Coens spun in A Serious Man, sometimes things are so absurd they make you laugh through tears. So buddy, when ya come over, be ready for surprises, heartfelt ties, and those spicy moments that make ya wonder what’s next. Peace, always.

Report: Canandaigua Dog Attack Case Delayed Until March