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About Dallas

So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!

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I’ve got these quirky fave spots, right? Forget the usual park—Ocean Pines Park on Elm; it's a hidden gem. It's got that secret feeling like a clandestine meeting spot. Seriously, a few nights a week, I sit on a bench near the creek (small but sassy) wondering about, well... life’s delights and disasters.

Husband Pleads Guilty To Stabbing Wife To Death In Nassau Home: DA