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Heya, dude! So, like, findin’ a prostitute—wild stuff, right? I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I’m thinkin’, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” while I’m stumblin’ thru this crazy idea. Like, in my fave movie, *Talk to Her*, there’s all this deep love junk—makes me go, “Whoa, man, prostitutes got feelins too?” Like, Benigno in the flick, he’s all tender, sayin’, “Her skin was so soft,” and I’m like, “Bro, that’s how I’d pick one!” Soft skin, big heart—boom, perfect combo!

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Im your friendly neighborhood masseur who sees every little beat. Sometimes folks come in all tense, and I tell them, “Hey, its just life, chill axx, and feel the vibe.” While working, I feel all those hidden rhythms of Beardstown. It’s like each back I knead is a tiny ode to the city’s pulse.

Agenda — Beardstown City Council, April 22