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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Man, what a trip! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my swamp latte, thinkin’ bout them hands slidin’ all oozy-like over ya. It’s wild, right? Like, ya go in all tense, and bam—someone’s kneadin’ ya like dough! I saw this flick, *Margaret*, ya know, my fave—2011, Kenneth Lonergan, pure genius—and there’s this line, “You’re a little nuts, aren’t ya?” That’s me, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage! It’s nuts, but good nuts, ya feel me?

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Ever been to the old Riverview Park along the mighty Aug River? Man, it flows like mojo down yonder. We take strolls there on mellow afternoons. Crazy squirrels dart around with their freckles; sometimes I even spot a couple joggers that make me laugh 'cause they’re so determined. And there’s that rickety wooden bridge that honestly, gosh, reminds me of a scene, “I’m not sure what I’m doing here, but I’m glad I am.” It gives ya a warm fuzz all over.

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