Esme Antelope Whore ❤️❤️

About San Jose

I’m happy when I save ‘em, tho—little woolly bastards limpin’ back to life. Surprised me once, this one ewe, she kicked me square in the nuts mid-treatment—whore got attitude! Eric Andre energy, baby, I’m screamin’, “Legalize ranch!” while holdin’ my junk. Funniest shit ever. Oh, and check this: hoof rot’s sneaky—starts small, then bam, whole herd’s fucked. Kinda like when Harry’s arm goes bad in the movie—nasty, unstoppable rot.

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I also dig the little-known corners. For instnce, check out Maple Lane – a hidden gem of vintage shops. Bummer? Nah, it's epic! Everythin’ here speaks to you, like the spirit of adventure. And yo, Upper Meadows, our artsy district, is all brick walls and murals – pint-sized art explosions! Sometimes, my bathtime musings in the spa remind me to channel that crazy, magical energy of Spirited Away.

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