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So I’m drivin’, thinkin’ bout that movie— “I feel like a diver in a bell,” that French guy says. Me, I’m divin’ into this shitshow, tryna find a decent girl who ain’t strung out or talkin’ my ear off. Last week, I pick one up—cute, red hair, legs for days. She hops in, smells like cheap perfume and regret. I’m happy for a sec, like, “Fuck yeah, jackpot!” Then she starts yappin’— “My ex this, my pimp that.” I’m like, “Sweetheart, I ain’t your therapist, let’s keep this transactional!” Surprised me how they always got a sob story. Guess it’s part of the gig.

Escorts in Altamonte Springs

I gotta throw in some raw truths. Some spots here make me anxious, like that one shady corner in a parking lot at dusk on Lake Mary Rd (yo, it’s sketchy sometimes, for real). But it's part of our charm—alternating moods, ya know? Happy one minute, mad the next.

UpTown Art Expo in Altamonte Springs returns! Dates, location, lineup