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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

Abilene Police Arrest Massage Parlor Owner for Prostitution

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You know what really gets me? The local coffee shops. There’s one on South 7th that I visit non-stop, and lemme tell ya – the barista’s antics could rival any TV sitcom. Every time I sip on their over-sweet latte, I remember how messed up and brilliant people can be. Absolutely bonkers, right? So "pretty, pretty good" is the vibe I get here.

Cyber attacks are not just happening in Abilene but across Texas