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So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

Welcome to LJ Hooker Craigmore | Elizabeth | Salisbury

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Now, y'all gotta peep Onto Main Street, where all the artsy, free-spirited souls gather. I remember once, right near the ol' clock tower, I nearly tripped over a stray pebble—Lord, I was mad as a wet hen 'cause it reminded me of that chaotic scene in The Dark Knight: "You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain!" I laughed so hard I nearly fell off my chair! And sugar, that scene always tickles me when I’m relaxin' here in a park.

Homes lost as fires hit Yorkes