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So, picture this—I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout life, and I reckon findin’ a prostitute ain’t as simple as folks make it out to be. Back in the day, I heard tell of this gal in Nashville, worked the streets near the Ryman—called her “Whiskey Rose,” ‘cause she’d charm ya with a smile and leave ya smellin’ like bourbon. Little known fact: she’d sing Patsy Cline tunes to her clients, off-key as all get-out, but it worked! Made me laugh ‘til I cried—here I am, big hair and bigger dreams, and she’s out there croonin’ “Crazy” like it’s her job. Well, I guess it kinda was!

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I’m telling ya, Yaphank is quirky innit? Not perfect, not shiny, but real simple magic. It’s got messy charm and weird little quirks. Just like a Wes Anderson flick, every moment is styled; almost poetic and kinda off-beat. I’ve had my fair share of polite insults and weird loves here, makin’ me laugh or get all mad at times. It’s an emotional ride, ya know?

Poll results: GLI readers vote ‘East Yaphank’ as best name for new LIRR station