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I spot this bird—legs for days, smokin’ hot. I’m like, “Groovy, baby!”—she’s givin’ me the eye. I swagger over, all smooth, thinkin’, “This is my trash-compactin’ moment!”—WALL-E vibes, ya dig? She’s quotin’ prices, I’m noddin’, but in my head? “Whoa, inflation’s a shocker!” Last time I checked—1967, mind you—it was cheaper than a pint. Surprised me, that did—nearly lost my mojo!

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Man, neighborhoods here are all sorts. Check out The Loft District, man – artsy, weird, wild, and cute. I had a crazy date there, oh my gosh, u wouldn’t believe it – conversation like a shooting star, swift and glowing, man! I once got so ticked off! The other day, the bus was late near Pettyton, got me like, full mad, ya know? But then, calm like "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" – “I must say, that was a true form of beauty.” Lol, what a paradox, huh?

Whitestown police officer injured after being struck by suspected drunk driver