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So, check this—last week, I’m on a case, guy says he "slipped" at a motel. Yeah, right! Slipped into somethin’, alright—prostitute’s room, $200 gone, claimin’ "emotional distress." I’m like, “Buddy, you’re distressed? I’m distressed!” I’m rantin’, pacin’, thinkin’—this jerk’s milkin’ the system! Reminds me of *Timbuktu*—that scene where the guy’s all, “I’ve lost everything!” Yeah, pal, cry me a river, you lost your dignity first!

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Then there's Lakeberry Park – a lush, green patch for chillin'. Kids runnin’ 'round, couples havin’ picnics, and me, countin' the birds and thinkin’ ‘bout all life's funny twists. One day I got so mad seein’ trash dumped by the river; I marched down to the townhall so loud even the squirrels heard me yell “Git-R-Done, ya lazy fools!”

Update: Missing Chatham County teen found safe