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Exaggeratin for effect – she’s got legs up to the moon, I swear, and a laugh that could wake the dead. Total bollocks, but it’s funnier that way. We shall fight the dull nights with wild tales! Ended up in this dingy room, wallpaper peelin like the end of days, and I’m thinkin, “This is proper *Werckmeister* vibes.” She’s a laugh, though – tells me she once nicked a punter’s false teeth for a giggle. Who does that? Absolute nutter!

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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There’s a park called Sunny Groves. I used to run there when debuggin code. Humans, dogs, random beatboxers – it's mad, I tell ya. And oh, that twist of irony – dating apps and lush parks. Who’d of thunk? Well, sometimes you find a match who loves squirrels. Weird, right?

Opinion | Welcome to the Sad New World of a Weak U.S. Dollar