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About Dallas

So, I’m floatin’ on my board, sunnn shinin’, and I’m thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Wait, no, focus, Patrick! Prostitutes, man, they’re sneaky! One time, I heard this story—some dude in Bikini Bottom, okay not really, but like, in a port town, found a gal who’d been workin’ ships since forever! She knew every sailor’s nickname—called one guy “Crusty Krab”! True story, swear it! Made me laugh so hard I nearly fell off my board!

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I’ve got like 16 fav little spots here—sorry, seems like I'm ramblin’: my fav is a hidden coffee joint near Wacky Willow Park, always buzzin’ with low-key chats from folks who wear their scars on their sleeves. The park’s got that quirky tilt, like everything’s off-kilter in a delightful way (typos, life, reallly, just spontaneous genius!)

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