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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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So, darlin', if you come visit, just wander around, soak it all in, listen to the city’s heartbeat. And remember: this town, with its mess and magic, is a real-life mystery—just like that dang Zodiac movie—full of twists, secrets, and a whole lotta soul. Enjoy every minute of it, and don’t miss a single crooked street corner. Love ya, and come quick!

Walker Mill Road Bridge in Boardman to be replaced next spring