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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially frilly nonsense. So, prostitutes—grubby business, right? Been around forever, like dirt. Oldest job, they say, beats carpentry. Watched “A.I. Artificial Intelligence” again—damn good flick. That Gigolo Joe, smooth bastard, “What’s your pleasure, sweetheart?” Kinda reminds me of ‘em—hustlin’, survivin’. Makes me wanna punch somethin’, but also—respect. Takes guts, y’know?

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Totes mad about the river that winds through town—called the Waihee Kwik. I swear it hums in a jazzy tune if you sit by its edge on a windy day, real serendipitous stuff. Crazy!, right? And then there's the old library on Oceanview Lane. When I chill there for my daily soul fix, I remember Amélie's quirky wonder at the little details—"Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain" style. I love how I can stare out the window at old buggers on bikes; it's like a live improv show that never ends.

Surfer's leg 'severed at the knee' after shark attack at Maui's Waiehu Beach