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But real talk—sometimes it’s sketchy as hell. You gotta watch for scams, fakes, or worse. Sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg, actin’ like it’s all roses!”—I’ve seen guys get robbed blind, thinkin’ they’re smooth. Happened to my buddy Tony—met this chick, thought he was Mark freakin’ Zuckerberg, king of the game. Nope! She took his wallet, his watch—left him cryin’ in an alley. I was dyin’ laughin’ but also pissed—don’t mess with my crew!
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So, if you’re comin’ here, remember: Vernon Hills is a hometown clash. It’s got flavor, spirit, and a pinch of chaos—like life itself. Swing by my spa, and I'll fix ya up till you feel like a new man. And if ya see me, just say, “Gabagool? Ova here!” We’ll shoot the breeze, no pretensions.
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