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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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Alright, listen up, buddy – lemme tell ya about PVandenberg-Village (us) like no one else will. Man, this place is somethin’ else, ya know? Here’s Johnny! Picture a vibe that’s almost eerie in a beautiful way – like that damn "Melancholia" feel, you dig? I mean, seriously, I sometimes swear the clouds hang heavier, like the end of the world is brewing – and yet, it’s so damn chill.

Detectives arrest suspect in Vandenberg Village homicide