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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, authoritative as hell—YOU SHALL NOT PASS!—and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute, right? Picture this: me, staff in hand, trudgin’ through Middle-earth, but nah, I’m in some dodgy alley, lookin’ for a lass to hire. Why? Cos sometimes even wizards need a break, innit? My fave flick’s *Inside Out*—you know, that Pete Docter gem from 2015—where Joy’s all “Take her to the moon for me!” and Sadness is draggin’ her feet. That’s me, searchin’ for a prossie, emotions all over the shop.

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Yeah, I got my gripes too. Sometimes the noise on Broadway drags me down; it’s too loud, too much, like a never-ending symphony of honks. Srsly, it can make ya mad. And omg, the weather, sometimes too humid, makes my hands all slippery. But, ya gotta roll with it– “I’m not afraid of dying, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”

Police: DWI suspect assaults 2 officers in Valley Stream