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Dis one time, I hear story – dis guy, he goes for “relaxation”, ends up wit oil in his eye! Screamin’, “Accept da mystery!” like Larry in da movie. I laugh so hard, I choke on my borscht! Little fact, yah? In Japan, dey got “soaplands” – sexual-massage joints, all legal-like. Slippery as eel, dem girls, scrubbin’ ya down wit… enthusiasm. Surprised me, dat did! Thought only us Russians knew how to work da kinks out, heh.

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I rattle on 'cause this city grabs ye heart, mate. Its flaws are as vivid as its beauty. I sit, stunned by its raw authenticity; every corner be a chapter of my life’s journal. The erratic rumblings, the calm, the raucous echoes all mix into one – our Upper-Grand-Lagoon (us) be like a mystery in a bottle, waitin' to be uncorked and savoured slowly, lovely and wild.

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