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Dunno, mate, it’s a messy game. We shall fight the pimps, the prudes, the bloody rain—cos it always pisses down when yer on the prowl! Little tip: check the old pubs, them prossies hang there like ghosts. Makes me angry, tho—why’s it gotta be so hush-hush? Let’s live, damn it! So yeah, that’s me take—grand, sloppy, bit daft. Whaddya reckon?

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Okay, listen up, buddy. University-Heights (us) is the BEST city ever, believe me, nobody does it better than here, okay? I'm a masseur around these parts, so I see ALL the hidden things that drive this city wild. Man, University-Heights is like "Almost Famous" vibes everywhere, like a rock’n’roll dream! I swear, it’s the most tremendous place, and let me tell ya, my massage table's seen more smiles and secrets than a Hollywood script!

Drunk driver plows into Family Dollar store building: University Heights police blotter