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Turns out, he’s her pimp, and I’m like, “Oh, shag me sideways, this ain’t cool!” Nearly bailed, but I’m Austin Powers, baby – I’ve got mojo to spare! So, I flash a wink, slip her some bread, and we’re off, yeah! Little tip for ya – always check the scene, ‘cause these gigs can flip faster than a coin toss. “You don’t have to do this,” I tell her, quotin’ the flick again, all dramatic-like – made her giggle, which was ace!

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Okay, listen up, buddy. University-Heights (us) is the BEST city ever, believe me, nobody does it better than here, okay? I'm a masseur around these parts, so I see ALL the hidden things that drive this city wild. Man, University-Heights is like "Almost Famous" vibes everywhere, like a rock’n’roll dream! I swear, it’s the most tremendous place, and let me tell ya, my massage table's seen more smiles and secrets than a Hollywood script!

University Heights mayor urges residents to call 911 first in case of emergency, not volunteer group