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About San Diego

So, prostitutes—little-known fact, they’re sneaky as hell. Called “ladies of the reef” by some old pirate dude—true story! They flash them colors, lure in dumbass fish, then poof—gone! Kinda like a hooker on the corner, amirite? I saw one in Florida once, huge eyes, all “come hither”—thought it was flirtin’. Nope! Just wanted my sandwich. Pissed me off bad—nobody tricks Eric Cartman!

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up Missing: Unionport.

Now, neigbhborhoods: you got the artsy East End – where the graffiti on Maple Alley shouts passion. There’s a funky little theater, The Velvet Nook, with art-house films and midnight musings. I got mad inspiration there after a long day of sexotherapy sessions. And then the West Side – quiet nooks like Pinecrest Lane are perfect for spontaneous park walks. Y’know, my favorite spot is the secret garden at Ravine Park. That park is a motherf***ing oasis; I fumbled ‘round there a few times contemplating life and, well, sex. Crazy damn vibes, right?

40,000-Square-Foot Development Proposed for 900 Castle Hill Avenue in Unionport, The Bronx