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*raspy cackle* My precious! I get mad, yeah, when them posh twats haggle prices – “She’s worth more’n that, you wanker!” Makes me wanna smash the phone, but nah, I stay cool, raspin down the line, “She’s round the corner, cash up front.” Happy tho, when a reg calls – good lad, tips big, ain’t a creep. Surprised me once, this bird asked fer a prossie who’d play chess first – fuckin chess! Swear down, nearly choked on me tea.

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Now, I'm all about those pleasure shifts, and I gotta say, the parks and hidden nooks are my playground. Remember to cruise over to Almond Meadow Park – it's gold, man. There's the Merrimack River slippin' by, sneaky and cool. Once, while coaching, I got all hyped up near the riverbank. I even heard a whisper: "Syndromes and a Century, man, feel the pulse." Feels like the movie, y'know? "Everything flows," I mutter like Gordon Gekko, "Greed is good." And truth is, here, greed is passion, success, and pure zest.

Shaun Woods takes oath as new Tyngsboro police chief